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Annie Zam Trauma Healing
Estranged
Feel More Regulated In Your Relationship
Contact
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Book A Free 20 Minute Call
Annie Zam Trauma Healing
Estranged
Feel More Regulated In Your Relationship
Contact
Newsletter
Blog
Podcast
Book A Free 20 Minute Call
Folder: Workshops
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Estranged
Feel More Regulated In Your Relationship
Contact
Newsletter
Blog
Podcast
Book A Free 20 Minute Call

This is a workshop for folks who would like to feel more regulated in their romantic relationships and sometimes have a really hard time doing so.

As humans, we’re wired to need each other deeply. Our need to feel safe and secure in our relationships is tied to our very survival.

When you have conflict or any kind of struggle with the person you’re closest to, it’s normal to feel VERY distressed.

To make it even rougher, often our histories make it hard to feel safe in our current relationships.

You’ll be guided to tune into the particular ways you get dysregulated in your relationship and to explore some ways to feel more grounded.

Who’s Annie?

I’m Annie Schuessler-Zam. I help trauma survivors with healing and nervous system regulation in San Francisco and online everywhere through Brainspotting and Internal Family Systems informed work. I’ve been doing this work for decades.

And ALSO, I am creating this workshop because I have had a hard time learning to get regulated in my relationship. My partner and I have been together for 25 years.

This is NOT going to be a workshop led by someone who very easily stays grounded and regulated all the time, stooping down to educate you.

I’m geek about trauma healing and relationship healing, and love sharing these tools with you.

Why is being in a relationship so hard sometimes?

When you’re intimately connected to another, the bond can be fulfilling, nourishing and satisfying.

And also in really close relationships our pain and shadow stuff comes up.

The parts of us that most yearn to be known, cared for, understood, and attuned to show up. Some of those parts of us have been hurt or neglected in the past, often when we were quite young.

Intimate relationships are humbling because they bring all this stuff to the surface.

We can feel:

  • activated

  • insecure

  • protective

  • defensive

  • angry

  • hypervigilant

  • shut down

These feelings are so painful, and can make us feel out of control.

But these tough feelings are truly opportunities for deep healing. They point us right to the spots where we need that healing.

It is my wish that you feel more understanding, curiosity and devotion towards yourself the next time you feel dysregulated in your relationship, and that you have some new ways to care for yourself.

What we’ll do together

I’m going to walk you through a process to understand why your particular feelings and reactions can sometimes get so strong (or so shut down), AND some ways to get grounded in your body and with your partner.

We’ll explore a few simple practices to listen to yourself, sense what your feelings are needing to tell you, and begin to meet those needs.

We’ll talk about and practice some tools in real time. (No sharing or talking required).

You’ll be trying on a way of being with yourself and your partner in your relationship.

You’ll be encouraged to have your camera on to create more safety and presence in the group.

Having your camera on does NOT mean that you need to be right up in front of the screen, nodding and smiling. You are very welcome to be at an angle to the camera, move your body as you like, fidget, and allow your facial expression to be what it wants to be.

You may end up telling your partner about some of these practices after the workshop, or you may choose to just use them on your own.

Some of the topics we’ll get into

  • Discerning what part of the difficulty is yours, what part is theirs and what’s both of yours (hint: it’s probably mostly BOTH of yours)

  • Ways to feel more regulated during tough conversations (and the rest of the time too)

  • Getting to know your own attachment style and the attachment style of your partner

  • Getting to know your partner’s nervous system and giving them a manual for yours

  • Ways to shore up feelings of safety and security with yourself

  • Ways to shore up feelings of safety and security with your partner

  • Befriending your body as your home base for relationship healing

Frequent Questions:

Is this just for people in long term relationships? And can I attend if I’m single?

If you ever feel like you get dysregulated or activated in romantic relationships, you belong here. Whether you’re currently single, in a new relationship, or in a relationship you’ve been in a while, you are welcome. You will learn some ideas you can try with a partner, and if you’re currently single, you might make a note of those for future use.

Will the workshop be recorded?

Yes. Folks who register will receive a recording and will have access for 30 days.

Can I attend and stay quiet?

Yes. There will be some space for questions and discussion, but if you decide to stay quiet, that will be welcome too. You will be invited to share and you’ll be free to pass.

Can I work with you 1:1 instead or in addition to this workshop?

Yes. To work with me individually, start here.

Are you going to try to sell me something else at the end of this workshop?

No.

I can’t wait to see you there.

© Copyright 2009 – 2026 Annie Schuessler. All Rights Reserved.